1/18/09

If Joe Buck Can Do it...

My favorite day of the week is finally here! Unfortunately in a
few weeks, this day turns into my least favorite day of the week.
Why? Well, I love Sundays where football is being played for obvious
reasons but I can't stand all other Sundays. Why? Well for one, it
means the work week is only a day away, and for another, I'm
convinced that it rains more often on Sundays. I haven't been able to
prove it yet, but it has something to do with driving patterns,
prevailing winds, and acid rain. But we're here to talk about
football.

It's championship week, which some football purists prefer more
than Super Bowl because they say all the media glitz and glamour take
away from the game itself. So for those purists (and my own personal
interest) SS will do our own play-by-play of today's action, but only
the early game because we don't yet have a contract to cover CBS
games (and it'd be too much writing). But before we get to the
action, let's give you our prediction for today and a quick side
note.
The Arizona Cardinals come in as the four-seed that everyone wrote
off because of their poor late-season performances. Arizona got
outscored 116-42 over the last three weeks of the regular season, and
Kurt Warner looked every bit like the 37-year old he was, and not the
MVP candidate that he was earlier in the season. Then they beat
Atlanta, and soundly trumped Carolina, and still are getting no
respect. In fact, right after the NFC Championship matchup was
decided, one of ESPN.com's heavyweight writers wrote that the Eagles
were a lock for the Super Bowl. But the Cardinals deserve our
respect. Any team that can beat Carolina the way the Cardinals did
last week has a chance each week, and certainly shouldn't be written
off. Prediction: Cardinals by 3. It should be close, but Fitzgerald
will be too much for the Eagles to handle.

*Side Note: A sad and unfortunate side
effect of the playoffs happens when there are only a few teams still
playing games, like there is right now. Because there are so few
teams left, the majority of NFL fans are left unable to root for
their team, and what you end up with is every ho-hum fan pretending
like they care about one of the superstars left in the playoffs. I
can't tell you how many times I've heard some douche-bag say, “Kurt
Warner is my man!” or “Yeah Ed Reed! You're my boy!”. They say
this, when in fact all they know about this player is whatever piece
they did on him on Sportscenter, or the one likable off-field fact
that they said about him during last week's broadcast. Douche-bags.
Now to the game:
3:10 - Unfortunately I missed out on the pre-game hoopla
and the first few plays by Arizona. Roommates can be such a bother
sometimes. But with that aside, the Cardinals and Eagles are already
in progress. Edgerrin James just ripped off a nice 16-yard run. I
wouldn't be surprised if later we find out the whole playing time
fiasco that James was upset about was in fact a ploy put on by Ken
Whisenhunt to keep James fresh for the playoffs. Considering how
unexpected and surprising the Cardinals current run is, this doesn't
seem so farfetched.

3:14 – Warner to Fitzgerald over the middle for a
Cardinal touchdown. Quick starts usually don't mean much, but the
Cardinals just made moving the ball look
very easy
against the Eagles.

3:26 – David Akers knocks down
a pretty routine field goal. Then during the break we see the
long-anticipated Manning-Williams brother-sister Oreo race. I bet the
Manning brothers are glad that they're both out of the playoffs. It
looks like they were able to take that time off and devote it to
practicing for the big matchup against the Williams sisters in the
Oreo Double Stuf Racing League. Would they even be able to compete
against the Serena and Venus if they both still had football games to
prepare for? What about if only one of them was still in the
playoffs? Would there strife in the Manning household because one of
the brothers wasn't taking the DSRL seriously enough? These are the
things I think about during football games.
3:33 – LeBron James just
signed with the Cleveland Browns! (Yeah, it sounds just as stupid in
writing as it does when he said it on television. That's what I
thought.)
3:36 – McNabb had a ball over
the middle tipped sky-high, the Cardinals picked it off, then had the
ball stripped from behind by DeSean Jackson.
3:38 – The last 4 passes from
McNabb have gone like this: behind DeSean Jackson over the middle and
incomplete, interception, incomplete on a throw that went over the
wrong shoulder to Greg Lewis, and a completion on a ball that was low
and behind Hank Baskett. For all the talk of the resurgent Eagles and
McNabb proving himself after he was benched, I'm still not convinced.
The Eagles defense deserves a lot of credit (giving up no more than
14 points in the last 6 games) and Westbrook has come back healthy
and remains one of the best playmakers in football. It should be an
interesting off-season for McNabb if the Eagles lose today.
3:46 – Akers hooks a 47-yard
field goal wide right. (No good! Wide right!). The telecast then
shows Matt Leinart celebrating jumping up and down like Automatica
Gramatica. Good work, Matt.
3:48 – A sweep flea-flicker
results in another touchdown for Fitzgerald. Defenses are still
allowing Fitz to run free with single coverage. Even with the
play-fake, you have to commit more than one (stumbling) body to
Fitzgerald. But until they do, I'd love to see Warner throwing up
more jump balls and Fitzgerald doing his best Dwight Howard
imitation.
3:54 – McNabb gets sacked
after standing in the pocket and holding onto the ball for a just
under than 14 second. Luckily he gets bailed out by a holding call
away from the play. Still wondering why the second-coming of McNabb
doesn't use his legs more.
3:56 – I like the dual
running-back set that the Eagles are using. We know they don't have a
real bruising running back, but with the dual-backs (Buckhalter with
Westbrook), some of the pressure is taken off of Westbrook because
Buckhalter is very capable of carrying the ball up the middle.
4:05 – For the amount of flack I gave Axe for marketing a product that's supposed to make you smell
like chocolate, I feel like I have to come clean here. I got a can of
this stuff as a Christmas present, and it is easily one of the best
smelling body sprays. And I say this, knowing full well that I smell
like the inside of the bag of Lindt truffles when I wear it.
4:07 – Great screen by the
Cardinals where they faked the wheel-route to the running back on one
side then tossed it to the Leonard Pope on the other side. The
result? Pope had four lineman blocking in front of him and a 12-yard
gain. There is definitely more than meets the eye when it comes to
this Arizona coaching staff. Hm...
4:12Fitz
is single covered. Fade route. Touchdown. Seriously, what is going on
in the minds of Andy Reid and Jim Johnson? After Fitzgerald caught
two touchdown passes, and after the Cardinals threw to Fitz in single
coverage, and after they got a pass interference call on that last
play, the Eagles
still give
Fitzgerald single coverage, this time with Sheldon Brown on coverage.
I guess the Eagles are thinking Fitzgerald is so completely locked in
that it doesn't matter how many they have covering him. He's like
Jordan in the Finals, Tiger on Sunday, or Scott Boras when he's
mugging an old woman for the change in her purse. You can do whatever
you like, but there's no stopping these guys.

4:20 – McNabb 2.0 sees the
blitz coming and decides to throw the ball as far away from any
receiver as possible, yet still in the field of play. Just because
the other team has a quarterback whose age, by comparison, makes you
look like a rookie, doesn't mean you should being playing like a
rookie.
4:27Eagles
safety Quintin Demps cheap shots Kurt Warner as he's walking down the
field following a play. That play reminded me of that scene in
The
Replacements
when the
replacement players decide to set the tone by going all Chuck Norris
on the pro players. It must be tough for the Eagles to play this game
knowing there's such a big disparity in talent. Also, the violence
between the two scenes was sort of similar.


4:37 – Just before the half,
Anquan Boldin did something very smart. With time winding down and
the Cardinals approaching field goal distance, Boldin caught a screen
pass near the right-hash and had two blocks in front of him. From
here, Boldin had three choices; he could either try to gain yards,
run out of bounds, or both. The first instinct here is to run out of
bounds, and try to save the clock. But with just 4 seconds on the
clock, you can't be sure that he'd make it out of bounds and have the
refs stop the clock before time ran out. Instead, Boldin, realizing
his team still had one timeout, ran straight ahead into a defender
and got tackled, and stopped the clock. Because of Boldin, the
Cardinals were able to send Neil Rackers in to extend the lead to
24-6. A smart play would have been to try and run out of bounds. The
smarter play is what Boldin did right there.
4:59 – To add onto McNabb's
very sub-par performance, Donovan gets blitzed from his blindside by
Adrian Wilson and fumbles, turning the ball over. Ball protection is
something you should be stressing to a college or rookie QB, not a
10-year veteran.
5:03 – Arizona is forced to
punt and can't take advantage of the turnover. But here's a question:
Where is Brian Dawkins? We know he's not covering Larry Fitzgerald
(because no one is), so what has he been doing all game? For someone
who was recently compared to Wolverine on NFL Live, Dawkins has been
very quiet in the first half. Big players are supposed to show up in
big games, not shy away from the limelight. This is especially
surprising considering Dawkins is the heart and soul of one of the
best defensive units in the league.
5:10Good
throw by McNabb to Kevin Curtis through double coverage. I wouldn't
be surprised if there was a Hollywood-caliber speech in the Eagles
locker room at halftime. But I bet it wasn't by McNabb or Dawkins. I
think it was Brian Westbrook. He may be all quiet to the media, but
when he's in that locker room, with the season on the line, he would
have that internal fire to deliver a real good pump-up speech. And
who on that team wouldn't listen to him? He's arguably their best
player with an unquestionable work ethic and commitment. He'd be like
Ivory Christian in
Friday Night Lights,
a guy who was real quiet all year until he saw his last chance at a
championship slip away, and said to himself, “Not without a fight”,
and finally fires up his whole team. The Eagles ended up scoring on
this drive, then pushing the next Arizona drive back five yards, so
it seems his alleged speech work.


*Side Note – There is no limit
to the amount of money I would pay to have access to all the locker
room speeches ever made. I wouldn't watch them when I was about to
play sports or go to the gym. I'd just watch them before I run my
daily errands. To have that kind of motivation at my fingertips, I'd
never be late for a meeting or flake on a commitment ever again. It
gives me chills just thinking about it.
5:29 – McNabb just threw
another touchdown pass to his tight end Brent Celek, making the score
19-24 in favor of Arizona. A few notable things from that play:



  1. On the scoring play, with Celek
    well on his way into the endzone, Hank Baskett curled back and
    literally blew up both Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie and a Cardinal
    linebacker on a strong (but clean) block. I like the physical
    attitude that the Eagles are playing with, and right now it seems
    like the Cardinals are knocked on their ass by it, both physically
    and mentally.



  2. As the Eagles celebrated around
    Brent Celek, Celek and another Eagles player literally “Eiffel Tower-ed” a referee, as the two high-fived with a referee helpless
    trapped between them. It probably deserved a flag for excessive
    celebration, but I bet the referee didn't want to draw any more
    attention to what just happened to him.



  3. David Akers missed the extra
    point! Never mind that the Eagles probably should have gone for two
    instead of one, Akers' kicking game is absolutely miserable right
    now. Can the Eagles bench him, in an attempt to fire him up? Maybe
    then he'll come back and make bad throws to receivers but take
    credit for stellar performances by his team's defense. That's the
    Eagles formula for winning isn't it?
5:38Brian Dawkins! Finally he makes a play, this time on rookie phenom (read: overrated) Tim Hightower. On the very next play, Warner throws incomplete and the Cardinals have to punt. The Cardinals look very rattled right now. It's looking like this game will come down to who can overcome their own mistakes. Can Arizona hang onto a game which should have been well in hand by halftime, or will Philly overcome McNabb's shaky first half and shoddy secondary play? We'll find out soon!
5:44 – Touchdown Iggles! DeSean Jackson makes a catch a-la Torry Holt for the score. After they go for two and miss, the Eagles are up by one. If Cardinals lose this game, where does this game fall in terms of greatest NFL playoff chokes? The Cardinals should have been able to punch their ticket to Miami, but instead let the Eagles back into the game. History will be nice to the Cards and let them forget this game, because they were such big underdogs going into the game, but really this would be a pretty historic loss for Arizona if it ends up that way.
5:56 – The replay of the last play shows a nice shot of Asante Samuel's butt crack. Wonderful.
5:59 – In the commercial for Guitar Hero with Heidi Klum, she makes absolutely no effort to pretend like she's playing the guitar-controller. Whoever the director of this commercial was, I'm sure he was too distracted by her body to care what she did with the guitar. I'm not calling out the director, because I would be distracted, too. It's just another example of why gender inequality may actually be working in favor of women.
6:01 – I was about to complain about how the Cardinals have abandoned throwing to Larry Fitz, despite receiving single coverage, but they proved me wrong (again) by scoring a TD plus the two-pointer. Touche Cardinals. Cardinals are now up by seven. These are going to be an exciting final three minutes.
6:05Again McNabb, with all his receivers covered, hangs onto the ball instead of taking off with it. He knows he can make plays with his feet, and yet chooses not to. If he's saving his body for later in the season, shouldn't now be that “later in the season”, with two-plus minutes left, down by seven points in the NFC championship game?
6:09 – McNabb!!! Two more passes, two more bad balls. One was high over the middle (a ball which can get your receiver killed) on second down, and the other was a ball behind his receiver on third down (which can get your playoff hopes killed). I really wasn't expecting to harp on #5 all afternoon, but really, he is playing awful ball right now.
6:11 – The Miller Lite commercial that says “How can you watch nine hours of football this weekend? Easy! Skip the Sunday afternoon game!” just went from mildly clever to wildly inappropriate. It was kind of clever last week when there were four games on, because you'd watch nine hours by watching three games and skipping one (simple math) but now, with only two games on this weekend, the question they pose is actually a very difficult one to answer. If I wanted to watch nine hours of football this weekend, how could I? Certainly skipping one of the two games would hurt my chances of meeting my hourly football quota, not help it. Shame on Miller Lite, for making me think they knew of a way to provide us with an additional three hours of football coverage this weekend.
6:13 - 4th down... McNabb throws... incomplete! The replay shows that (in my opinion) the Cardinals got away with pass interference, but Kevin Curtis still had a very good shot at catching that ball. Congratulations are in order for the Cardinals.
6:15 – Even though the game is over, I feel like this needs to be pointed out. No one has a worse perception of what constitutes a first down than Cardinals TE Leonard Pope. On at least three separate occasions during this game, you can see Pope signaling first down on plays where he was near the first down, but clearly two feet short. I get that he's trying to sell the call, but he really looks like an idiot when everyone around him, including his teammates, is setting up for third down and he's still trying to get the first.
Cardinals 32 – Eagles 25: NFC Post-game Thoughts
McNabb really killed the Eagles today. The Eagles management needs to take a good hard look at McNabb and consider his status for the future. I'd looking to the draft to replace McNabb, because Kolb is not the answer. The Eagles have a lot of the pieces in place (strong defense, dynamic running back, capable receivers), and maybe all they need is a change at the helm.
Whoever wins the Steelers/Ravens game, the line for the Super Bowl should be either even or in-favor of the Cardinals. The Cardinals were four-point dogs to the Eagles in this game, after being 10-point unders against the Panthers. They trounced the Panthers, and beat the Eagles in a game that never should have been that close. The only way I give points to the AFC is if the Steelers win, and even then maybe only two or three. The Cardinals look that good right now.
Looking back on the Eagles/Cardinals game, everyone thought this game was over by halftime, and I think this got inside the heads of the Cardinal's players. They came out very very flat in the second half and let the Eagles back into the game. Teams like playing the underdog card, which the Cardinals deserve to play, but I think after handling the Eagles for two quarters, the Cardinals let themselves relax. If they get the lead in the Super Bowl, don't expect that to happen again.
They need to stop doing post-game interviews with the most emotional guys on the field. After the Cardinals big win, the on-field reporter tried to get an interview out of Adrian Wilson, the longest-tenured Cardinal. Wilson was so emotional that he couldn't really muster up too many words, which made for some very awkward on-air silence. I doubt that they'll ever stop doing these interview, but anything is possiblllllllleeee!
Congratulations to the Arizona Cardinals! If you win one more game, you can have your own personalized Sports Illustrated commercial. Now I get to watch my boy Ed Reed show the Steelers what's what. Or maybe man Hines Ward will show him how it's done! (Ah, I hate myself already!) Next week, why I hate Rick Reilly.
*Editor's Note – I wrote this article while watching Sunday's Eagles-Cardinals game, and edited it aesthetically afterwards. All comments were made at the time of, but most were edited later so that you wouldn't be reading chicken scratch. Thanks for reading!

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